Uncle Morty Schedules a Procedure
by Uncle Morty
Perhaps some of you have wondered where your dear old Uncle Morty has been and why I have been so lax about communicating with you lately...
This photograph may help explain the situation. To put it bluntly, I have not been well. To put it even more bluntly, I have been falling apart. Quite literally. It's difficult to concentrate on my writing when I'm holding one of my legs in my hand. My hips are barely attached with wire, the foot that is still attached is on backwards. My poor old neck barely hangs on to my noggin. Add to this my current existential condition - and perhaps you can understand why I haven't been in the best or most productive of moods.
But never fear dear readers! A Christmas miracle has occurred. I have received a new inhabitance, a place where my essence can dwell*. A fresh set of bones!
Gaze upon my shining new visage! I wish I could tell you that I am already residing in this lovely new skeleton but there are technicalities to work out. Expect to see a brand new Uncle Morty sometime next month as soon as we have acquired the proper equipment for the re-embodiment.
Until then...happy new year to all my friends and fans!
(Some of you may receive and invitation to the re-embodiment ceremony. Due to the fragile nature of the flesh-covered during a world-wide pandemic, a zoom option will be made available.)
*With special thanks to Blake Carpenter for the new place to park my soul.
Mortimer Richard Wolcott is, quite frankly, not very forthcoming with his bio. We're not even sure if that's his real name. His work during his previous embodiments is not something he'll willingly share. He also won't explain why he's currently assigned to the world of the living. His deathography is only somewhat clear from the point when he showed up at Sacred Chickens Farm for a Halloween Party and never left. He is occasionally pressed into service to help write the blog and you can search the archives here for his wisdom. He enjoys hanging out with cats, the occasional cocktail, and dispensing sarcastic remarks to the living.