David Bowie Is Trying To Kill Me
Author, Lee Widener
by Julie Carpenter
I first gave this review to Uncle Morty. He read the story and then retreated to his room with what he called a "terrible, wonderful headache" and told me he to get off my butt and write my own blog. So....
I don't think I can do this story justice with a typical review so I am going to make a list of statements that may or may not (but probably do) have something to do with the story. If you feel confusion upon reading these statements or repulsion - well you should probably get in touch with your weird side. Read the story. If you feel really revved up and deeply attracted to the content of these statements - go ahead and read the story (and hire a therapist while you're at it.)
1. David Bowie has more influence on the world as we know it than we comprehend.
2. Koala Bears.
3. Sticky talking frogs are intriguing.
4. This one is personal - having read this story I think I may have accidentally ingested a lime jello fairy once. It would explain my current feelings about jello.
5. As bad as things are - they would be a lot worse if they were better.
6. Never trust a talking fish that you find standing on a street corner.
Purchase the story here.
Mr. Wilkerson sat on the porch. Biding his time. A tangle of cobweb hung from one ear, but he did not raise his paw to remove it. His ear quivered. He was within three minutes of the time she normally came out for coffee and now the fine threads of spider silk were drifting into his eye on the breeze. He’d left the burrs where they were and his back quivered with an anxious need to remove them. But he needed to inspire sympathy. Not the emotion he preferred to inspire...but...he did what he had to do. He moved the dead mouse forward, between his paws, so she would see it and understand it was a gift. He’d cleaned most of the blood off it. It was whole, more presentable than his normal offerings, which usually consisted of the head thinly connected to whatever entrails did not appeal to his mood. But he had discovered that many humans had an objection to small piles of intestines. He was a bit hungry but he could wait.. He wasn’t nervous. It would work. He felt the vibrations. This was the place.