 English Majors Are Bad Drivers by Jarad Johnson *Note- Before we begin, you may be wondering, "Why is there a random picture of a cat stuck here? Well, allow me to explain. Cats are, by nature, rather irritable and, shall we say, ornery. In this post, I am rather crotchety myself, and since cats and I share a kinship in that regard, I felt it was appropriate. You may commence with reading this post now!*
On the days that I’m not working my regular job, I sometimes drive for DoorDash. Every single time, I feel like I’m taking my life into my own hands. I’ve scantily avoided multiple wrecks, most of them caused by some plebeian texting instead of driving. And every time this happens, I think, “Astonishing, isn’t it, that you aren’t the only person on the road?” This is a problem, that in my view, stems from pedestrians walking down the street looking at their phone. I know a story of someone my age who was holding their phone facetiming someone and then was shocked when they found themselves wrapped around a pole. Hope that conversation was worth it for them! Before I was terrified of them given me a viral plague, I sometimes let random people run into me. Just to make a point to them that there are other people around, you self absorbed twits!
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 Four Poems
Ahmad Alkhatat Silent Cry Desire to Die Cold Coffin Unforgettable Beauty Silent Cry The full moon rises over the metropolitan It reminds me of the head of the combatant He was formerly surrounded, his people and his enemy, whom they sentenced him to death by hanging, he died his people became candles. When your heart stops beating, you will think that your last wounds will burn your weak breath My logical sense said that “go brighter then burst”. Nobody but you and my mental health knows that I composed my happiness and autumn sang my grief.  An Interview with Julie Carpenter at NaomiUlsted.com Author Naomi Ulsted recently interviewed Julie, and they talked about writing, Things Get Weird in Whistlestop, and juggling Life, the Universe, and Everything it throws at you. Uncle Morty interjected a few opinions of his own. Here's a snippet of the interview, but click on over to Naomi's site. It's easy to get lost in all the great content but Uncle Morty and Julie give you their permission to sit down, grab a cup of tea, and settle in. All that stuff you have to do will still be waiting on you to do it when you get back. Trust us. Here's a little of the interview to get you started: I think your sense of humor is one of the defining traits of your writing; however, there is a more serious tone below the humor as well. Can you describe what you consider to be the major themes of your work? I think one theme is that just because something seems ordinary or normal, you can’t assume that it’s righteous or just. St. Bartholomew’s church in Whistlestop is a good example. Of course, everyone assumes that the church is a safe and spiritual place, but what’s behind that door in the choir room? Why did it choose the church and not the basement of the Pop-a-Top Bar? Other than the fact that I’m not sure the Pop-a-Top has a basement. The fact that you’ve always done something a certain way doesn’t mean that it’s the right way. The fact that you’ve always trusted some person, or institution doesn’t mean that they are, in fact, trustworthy.... You also work full-time outside of the literary field. How do you balance your work, your website, and your own writing? I balance my work, website, and writing like a novice juggler on a drunken binge, which is to say, ummm, not very well. I also have a garden, two cats, and chickens who need my attention every day. And family. So, my system is simple triage. I stamp out whichever fire is burning hottest at any given time, frequently going up in flames in the process....  The Howl
Reed College Recording Review by Julie Carpenter The cool cats over at The Rocking Magpie, where they collect all sort of music and music adjacent reviews for your listening pleasure, asked Julie to review Allen Ginsberg's The Howl, Reed College Recording. Here are a couple snippets, but please head on over to the site and hang out for a while when you get there! There's plenty to see and hear.  Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil Author, Jon Berendt Review by Jarad Johnson Many of you will know the title of this book, a very popular book in the nineties. It was also made into a movie with John Cusack and Kevin Spacey - he adds a layer – but that’s not the point of this post.
I was born at the end of the nineties and believe it or not I’d never heard of this book. Given that it’s an LGBTQ book, I’m surprised I missed it, but somehow, I did. I’m also not the most clued in about pop culture or the vile cesspools of social media. Although I consider myself very liberal and culturally aware, I also distance myself from certain things, which may be radical for someone my age. I just want you to understand that I had no, I repeat, no idea whatsoever what this book was about. No preconceptions. To tell you the truth, I recognized Bonaventure Cemetery from the cover; it’s one of the cemeteries I have always wanted to visit. That’s why I picked it up. I don’t know what I thought it would be about, but a murder trial was not it.  Author Spotlight Naomi Ulsted We thought this would be a good time to focus on friend of the chickens, Naomi Ulsted, since she has a brand new website and author page Naomi specializes in young adult fiction, memoir, and also writes screenplays. She is a master of writing about late teen/early twenties giddiness and angst. Her writing lends grace and humor to one of the most difficult and occasionally magical learning periods in human development. Her work sparks memory and acceptance, a look back through the hard times to find growth and beauty.  Random Thoughts
Me, the Moon, and Brutus the Cat By Julie Carpenter I didn't find Brutus. Brutus found me. I had stopped at the end of the drive to get the mail, when I saw him running across the street from our neighbor's meadow, racing straight towards me with all the focus of John Cleese's Sir Lancelot in Monty Python's Holy Grail. I was somewhat shocked when an unknown cat jumped into my arms. I petted him, set him down, and drove to the house to unload some groceries. When I came back to the car to get some more bags, I found him sitting in my back seat desperately trying to open a pack of hot dogs. I tried to find out where he came from , but in the end it turned out the universe had given me another cat.  Review: En Route Author Jesse Wolfe by Julie Carpenter En Route is a slim poetry collection about what it might mean to be human, whether it means anything, whether the meaning of life is created through intention or is simply distilled experience.  The Ghost in the Machine Father Brown Review by Crow Carpenter Note from Julie: Sometimes Crow watches television and I watch him watching television. Sometimes I'm bored enough to take pictures and videos of him watching videos. This is how I've been affected by isolation. It could be worse. Uncle Morty is trying to learn the bagpipes and Jarad was last seen wrestling a large vine and calling for a machete. On the other hand, if you are taking the time to read this maybe you shouldn't judge us. Anyhoo...here's how Crow felt about the story of a haunted painting, a love story gone wrong, and a secret underground tunnel.
 New Place, New Plants! by Jarad Johnson I recently moved into an apartment, and there is a distinct lack of landscaping here. There’s a few weeping holly’s and some poorly trimmed hedges - don’t even get me started on that! Who trims a hedge when it’s going to winter damage? Fools! - but that’s about it. Of course, I’m not lacking on indoor plants -it’s a jungle in here- but outdoor plants are what I prefer to deal with. I’ve got a balcony to work with and some railing at the front door, and I’ve already got some plans for that- lots of planters, vines and endless other plants are on my buying list this year. Rosemary, lavender, moonflower, black eyed susan vine and heliopsis are must haves. Lilies and clematis and a lemon tree also. I’ve already moved some very pretty (and very heavy!) stone planters up the steps near the front door, so that’s likely where I’ll start. I’ve also got a large pot earmarked for a rose and some spilling annuals.
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