Life Lessons....by Angelo

As many of you already know, Angelo is no more.  He died protecting his little family of hens from a fox.  (Probably a fox.  I hate to accuse a whole group without proof…but you know it was you, you furry little freaks!) 

At any rate I miss the old curmudgeon and the following is a tribute to him.  Angelo was a good guy.  And whatever ate him got a good taste of his talons and hasn’t been back since.  So he his death was not in vain.

LIFE LESSONS…by Angelo

*Blogger’s disclaimer:  These statements reflect the advice I feel Angelo would dispense.  They do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the blogger.

1.    Be yourself and eventually everyone will come to appreciate you for who you really are.  They initially named me Angela.  (Addendum: humans aren’t that bright).

2.    Always have a wife.  Otherwise your life will consist of scratching deep holes, repeatedly taking dust baths and reflecting on the profound injustices of life. You might as well be dead.  (In fact, have several wives…especially if your wives all come from the bottom of the food chain.)

3.    What makes for the best wife?  The biggest booty, hands down.

4.    If the wives aren’t getting along?  Move away quietly and don’t get involved.

5.    Hens with chicks?  Leave ‘em alone.  They’re psycho.

6.    If your comb freezes and turns black?  Put on a leather jacket and tell people you’re going for a punk aesthetic.

7.    When is it too early to crow?  Never.

8.    Where is the best place to poop?  Everywhere.

9.    Watch out for chicken hypnotists.  They can make you feel mighty silly.

10.   The best place for dinner?  The cat dish.