and the Man in
by Uncle Morty
In which our own Uncle Morty advises you about your existential and metaphysical problems. Please remember the advice is free when judging its worth.
Dear Uncle Morty,
I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts the other day, The Last Podcast on the Left, and they were recounting listener stories about a faceless man with a hat who appears during sleep paralysis. (Sleep paralysis is that feeling that you’ve just woken up, but you can’t move. A lot of people who have it say they see a shadowy figure coming towards them.) Anyway, after listening to a bunch of emails where people describe this shadowy figure as a faceless man with a tall hat, I realized something. I know that guy.
The Frivolous Gardener?
by Jarad Johnson
If you’re a gardener, chances are there are people in your life who have called your, “hobby” frivolous or unnecessary. It can be quite irritating at times, especially if you are told continuously that your passion for plants is unimportant. I think that goes for any passion that people don’t really get.
Letter to an Alien
by Julie Carpenter
This piece was first published in The New Guard, Volume VII. (There are so many wonderful stories and poems in these anthologies!) This is a letter to my daughter, Essie. Sometimes it's hard to tell where reality ends and the story begins. I will let you make that judgment for yourself. Enjoy!
Your sister and I were talking about you yesterday. We were watching the baby play. He doesn’t cry as much as you did, but the way he gurgles and coos to his long, elegant feet and babbles to whoever or whatever he sees hovering in the corners by the ceiling reminds me of you – almost exactly. She was nine when you were born, a second mother really, and believe me, it takes a village to raise an alien. I don’t know what I would have done without her. Anyhow, you can’t blame us that when we look at your nephew, we’re a little nervous. Listen, I know you think I could have done a better job being your mother, but I have to be honest with you, sometimes it was damned hard. Sometimes it was funny, sometimes it was astonishing, occasionally delightful, but never a day that it wasn’t hard.
Teeny Tiny Stories From the Marinated Jungle
Author, Lee Widener
By Julie Carpenter
Friend of the Chickens, Lee Widener, has published another book! And, as you might suspect, it’s weird. Bizarro, even. If you’ve never read Bizarro literature before, your brain is in for a treat. Besides, your synapses were probably due for rewiring anyway.
Bizarro literature is much like nonsense. It exists to defy expectations and break your mind out of any boxes where you might comfortably store your imagination. In a word, it’s a trip. If you’ve never heard of it before, read Widener’s guest post, What is Bizarro Literature and Am I Weird Enough to Read It.